Sunday, November 25, 2012

What do you mean I have to go UP a size?

          Everyone who knows me, knows I've been working diligently for 4 years to change my life in all aspects, but especially in the weight loss/fitness/lifestyle arena.  And, for the most part, I've succeeded in doing so.  I started at 289#, a size 26, and am now at roughly 195#, a size 12.  I have tree trunks for thighs, shoulders like a rugby player, and a bum you could bounce a quarter off of.  Most of that, I attribute to running and cycling.  For about the past 6 months, I've been lifting weights and working on improving my upper body and core strength.  Very recently, I've started lifting heavy and trying to actually gain some muscle to support my new found addiction to triathlon and my decision to train for an Ironman 70.3.  Not to mention, with a fairly large and muscular lower body, I felt the need to even things out a bit.  This is where the trouble starts.

           Take a step back in time with me.  I remember fondly the first time I could fit into an XXL at Old Navy, and I also remember fondly the first time I fit into a Large at numerous stores.  Up until last night, I was still happily fitting into all things Large.  Then came the moment I realized life was about to change again.  I tried on the cutest dress, convinced it would be perfect for Christmas, only to realize it wouldn't come close to zipping past my waist.  Some might think that's about the bust, but it didn't even make it up on my shoulders.  Enter (insert melodramatic tri-tone music here), the next size up.  THE NEXT SIZE UP?! NOOOO!  But I've worked so hard!  Eric dutifully went and got me the XL.  As I put it on, it zipped happily over my shoulders and fit my upper body perfectly, only to realize it was HUGE around my hips.  Sigh.  Enter dress number two...I couldn't even pull it over my shoulders.  After the third non-fitting dress, I gave up on dresses.
          Then came the super cute fleece zip up.  It fit like a glove on the body, just the way I like it, but looked like my arms were crammed in it like sausages.  I bought the XL because I wanted something warm and cozy that would also be comfortable too.  And we can't forget the cute trouser jeans I a 14.  They're slightly huge in the waist, but fit the quads and booty with no room to spare.  What's a girl to to?  I need pants, right?  Wear a belt.

            So, standing in Old Navy last night, I realized a grizzly truth.  I'm destined to wear one of two things: shirts that fit my arms and nothing else, or stretchy athletic gear that makes me looks like the jock I really am on the inside.  And as for pants, forget it.  My legs have always been big, but they're getting harder and bigger, not to mention the ghetto booty from all the squats.  I suppose asking for the best of both worlds just isn't going to happen, unless I hurry up and get my Personal trainer cert, then I can dress like a jock for work.  If I really want the muscular, athletic body I have worked so hard for, clothes shopping isn't gonna be as much fun as it used to be.  And, I may just have to be ok with the next size up.  I mean, there are worse things....I just can't think of any right this exact moment.


Saturday, November 17, 2012

At least you didn't give up....

          As I'm sitting here on a Saturday night looking over all the new "friends" I've acquired on my Facebook page, it dawned on me that I've been remiss about writing a blog post recently.  So, here goes.  

       Yesterday, I did my usual Friday morning thing: up, eat, bike to gym, beast out, ride home, eat, work, sleep.  While at the gym, I did an extra long weight routine because I want some bulk before heading home for Christmas.  It's my deepest hope that if my shoulders are Hulk enough, the family members with whom I'm not so popular will leave me alone.... I digress.  Once finished, I hit the treadmill for 3 miles at a higher intensity than I'm used to.  Just as I was ready to start my cool down, one of my running/gym buddies hopped on the one next to me.  Mind you, she hadn't seen me for about month, because I took off time before the Marine Corps Marathon and after to get some rest.  This is a brief paraphrase of our conversation.  

        "Hey!  How's it going?  I haven't seen you in a few weeks, and I was starting to get worried!  How did Marine Corps go??"
        "UGH.  Marine Corps was a near disaster.  The weather was crappy.  You may have heard....there was this little HURRICANE that slightly affected conditions.  It was 50* and 20mph wind.  My legs were shot from sightseeing before the race because we knew the city was gonna shut down our last day there.  I ended up in the med tent with hypothermia and dehydration after nearly passing out in a was awesome."
         "Wow, that really sucks.  I'm sorry to hear that, but at least you didn't give up!  You'll have a great story and you got to hug hot Marines!  What are you gonna do now? I can't imagine you'd want to to another anytime soon...."
         "ME?  Screw that, I'm doing ING Miami marathon January 27th!  Onward and upward.  What doesn't kill me makes me run faster, right?"
         "You're a better woman than I am.  I think I would've called it quits for a while after that.  But I think it's gonna make you even more determined to train harder and do better."
         "You're right, it has.  I'm more committed than I've ever been to clean living, eating, and training.  And I'm gonna train as hard as I can for the next four months to make it happen."

         As I sit here with arms and shoulders so sore from yesterday's lift that I can barely move them, this conversation is resonating in my mind.  There are so many times over the last 4 years that I could have and sometimes should have given up.  Through the first marathon at Disney being a actual disaster, to running races in the rain that ruined phones, to weathering the split from Michael, to the nervous breakdown last spring, to having to pawn my grandmother's diamonds to pay the electric bill this past summer, I should have stopped training and taken care of business.  The thing is, I am the business.  And so when I keep training and stay focused, what I'm really doing is taking care of business.  Right now, I'm enjoying more success than I've ever had in my life.  So, for all the times I could have given up, the Marine Corps Marathon is just one more time I can look back on and say, "Rebekah, at least you didn't give up."  And I'll say that to myself every time I look at that swagtastic, spinning, sparkly medal hanging proudly on my rack.  Then, I'll go get another one to hang next to it.