Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Taking stock

As I sat with a group of people celebrating Eric's birthday this evening, I realized just how very completely and dramatically my life has changed. Nothing is the same. Every single person who I considered near and dear to me has fallen out of my life (including some family members) like the last leaves on the Fall trees, clinging for just another moment before they go back from whence they came.

None of the faces are the same (except my Mom and stepdad who's more like a real dad than my own), and while that strikes me with a sorrowful feeling, I can't say it's a bad thing. Why? Because the people who have fallen away were friends with someone who doesn't exist anymore. She's dead and gone. And just as I have mourned her passing, the new person that has come forth strives for a better life with better people in it. And just like a tree, new leaves have grown. The roots of the tree are the same, but her leaves are different. And her branches much stronger (and way better toned).

The group of people I call my friends these days are more like me: positive, supportive, creative creatures who feed my tree what it needs to thrive. Everyday, with more opportunities facing me than ever, a bright and shiny future on my horizon, and more determination than one person needs, I find myself boundlessly optimistic that as long as I keep growing my branches, new leaves will come along to fill them. As long as I can continue to understand that dropping old leaves and growing new ones is a natural part of human life, I think my tree will keep growing and growing and growing, and someday, she'll be so full of life nobody would dare cut her down again.

1 comment:

  1. This post reminded me of this poem. It is the inspiration for my next tattoo that will go around another tattoo on my leg and probably up to just below my knee.

    The Oak Tree

    A mighty wind blew night and day.
    It stole the oak tree’s leaves away,
    Then it snapped its boughs
    And pulled its bark
    Until the oak was tired and stark.
    But still the oak tree held its ground
    While other trees fell all around…

    The weary wind gave up and spoke,
    “How can you still be standing, Oak?”
    The oak tree said, “I know that you
    Can break each branch of mine in two,
    Carry every leaf away,
    Shake my limbs, and make me sway.
    But I have roots stretched in the earth,
    Growing stronger since my birth.
    You’ll never touch them, for you see,
    They are the deepest part of me.
    Until today, I wasn’t sure
    Of just how much I could endure.
    But now I’ve found, with thanks to you,
    I’m stronger than I ever knew.”

    Author unknown

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