Have you ever looked at your life and realized that you live in excess? I've had some of those realizations here recently. I've lost almost 50 pounds, I've cleaned over 200 pieces of clothing out of my closet that I deem as too big(from when I was 290 pounds), and I'm broke. Therefore, I've come to the conclusion that I've lived my life thus far in some state of constant excess.

When I was growing up, everything was excessive. The house wasn't, but it was a great, big old country farm house decorated to the nines with shabby-chic stuff collected through the years by my mother. And my dad always drove a Caddy(so did my grandmother for that fact). Vacations were always outrageous. Being from Ohio, if you got to go to DisneyWorld once before you graduated high school, that was a coup. For me, every other summer was Disney and the beach. $10,000 vacations only to come home to the eletrcicity being turned off because nobody paid the bill. Cars being repoed, the whole nine yards.

The habits of excess, I've found come from childhood. That whole nature vs. nurture nonsense. And so, because I lived a life of excess and turmoil(as my dad was and is an alcoholic), this became my habit as I grew. I've been heavy since I can remember. Which is to say, I don't remember much before my parents got divorced when I was 7. I've seen pictures of myself before then, and I was average size. But, divorce is hard, and it took it's toll. The only way my dad knew how to comfort me was to feed me.So, as I grew in all directions, age and otherwise,

I've come to this point in my life. I took all the personal finance classes in college, only to ignore everything I learned, and have horrible money habits, becasue I like excess. I had a job at a clothing store, and spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars over the course of the 2 years I worked there. And, after starting this journey, have realized that I have thousands of dollars worth of clothes(all from Lane Bryant) sitting around that are too big. It's really obscene how much clothing I have. Literally, hundreds of pieces of my prized wardrobe that are now hanging on two full clothing racks.

The problem with excess is that it's totally habitual, and it has infected all the parts of my life. Just like I'm learning to manage my eating habits, so I'm trying to learn how to manage my other habits as well. I'm giving up things like my tanning membership in exchange for my gym membership. And instead of eating out 2-3 times a week, we're cooking new recipes at home to keep our costs low. Excess has been a big part of my life my entire life, and for the first time in that life, I'm in control of my affairs. Losing the weight is just the beginneing of moderation, but I'm sincerely hoping that this new habit infects all the aspects of my life.