An ounce of encouragement....

Yesterday in my Weight Watchers meeting, I coined a phrase......."An ounce of encouragement is worth a pound of fat!". Not only did it get a laugh, but I think it rang true for so many people in there. And it definately rings true for me, otherwise I wouldn't have said it.

Everyday I get out of bed, dutifully eat my WW friendly breakfast, and wait 45 minutes until I can get my running gear on and hit the pavement for however many miles my training plan says I should. Some days are easier than others. Some days I leave my house with a sense of impending doom and some days I leave knowing that it's gonna be an amazing run.

This week in particular has been a week of ups and downs. My stress level this week has been through the roof dealing with Halloween costumes of all things, finances, ex's of all kinds, and families, both biological and non bilogical. The up days, I don't need encouragement from other people, because I have it to give to myself. The down days, like today, I needed it. And although I left my house knowing it would be a good run, my brain was needing just a little bit of help.

I got help today in more than one way. Yesterday, I bought the black cherry clif bloks with a full shot of caffeine in them, and needless to say, after eating one, my brain cracked out and my legs were flying. But as good as I felt, I knew that the good feeling wasn't coming from me, it was coming from the drug I had coursing through my veins. But then, someone smiled at me while I was running, and I smiled and waved back, and suddenly, a drug of a different kind went through my veins. Encouragement from other people is the best thing that an athlete can get while plugging away on the pavement. Runners are a generally friendly lot of people, save for maybe the truly elites who are so into what they're doing that they couldn't possible spare a moment to smile at someone else. Most runners are feeling either the same exhileration or pain as me and could use the same motivation as me. And so, today as I felt my legs getting heavy and my caffeine buzz wearing off, a smile gave me the energy to keep going. Because after all, encouragement is positive reinforcement that what I'm doing is good. That turns into motivation, and motivation turns me into a former fatty. So, the next time I feel like I need to stop, I'm gonna find someone to smile at, and hopefully they'll smile back. Because an ounce of encouragement is worth a pound of fat! :)

Training, and training some more

I have had the best couple weeks where my running is concerned. I thought I was gonna have to start all over with my training, but it turns out, I just had to go back a couple weeks. I'm always amazed at what this body of mine can do. Last week I clocked 28 miles. I'm on tap to clock mid 30's this week. Now if only I could get the scale to move as quick as my legs, life would be grand.

Yesterday, I went out for 12 miles, knowing that I have a 1/2 mary in 3 weeks, and need a good long run under my belt. I decided to try some new clif bloks, and venture into the world of caffeine. The first three miles were pretty hard, but after that, it got easier. I'm trying to run progressive long runs, meaning that I start slow and progressively get faster so that closer to the end, I'm closer to my 1/2 mary race pace. This also means that I spend longer running faster, so my body gets conditioned to it. Surprisingly, I held off on the caffeinated bloks until the last 5-6 miles, and they really did help with a little energy boost towards the end. I was expecting my heart rate to jump and to possibly get nauseous, but I didn't!

It's been 5 months since my last 1/2 mary, and I'm so excited about running this one in 3 weeks! Since it's on Halloween, I'm making a bumblebee costume for myself! It should be so cute. And this is also the first year that I'm feeling confident enought to wear a slightly sexy outfit for Halloween parties. I'm making myself a flapper girl dress in bright red! It should be really cute. Eric is gonna dress as a 20's gangster, complete with fedora and tie to match me! I'm so stoked. And I can't wait for Halloween!

Change is a constant.

I've spent two years running, now, and losing all this weight. I've built my finess level up so that I can run 5 miles 4 days a week, and run long every weekend. I planned first to do Vegas and then had to change my plans because I won't have the money. Then, I put my heart and soul into training for Disney again. And then the staph infection hit me.

10 days ago, I went to the E.R. with an abscess under my arm that just came from nowhere. After my arm swelled up to twice its size after the abscess was drained, and then bruised horribly, I had to tolerate the anitibiotics. And let me just say that massive doses of antibiotics plus a staph infection equal the inability to do anything. My body literally felt worse than after I ran the marathon. And, I wasn't allowed to run at all until it healed up. Even then, when I ran last week, I could barely make it more than 3 miles. So after 10 days of pills, and virtually no exercise, I've had to change my marathon plans yet again, much to my dismay.

I ran today on the TM, to take it easy on the body, and lifted weights, and I feel pretty good. It frustrates me that I have lost some of my endurance that I worked so hard to build, but I will build it back and it'll be pretty quickly, so I'm not too worried. The marathon I picked to run will not be until February, so I have plenty of time to get my fitness up.

I guess I can live with change, not that I like it all that much. But, I don't guess I really have a choice. As long as I'm healthy, none of it really matters anyway.

Operation: Life

OY!! The past couple weeks have been simply insane! Between knee pains and car repairs and paying rent, and Eric going out of town, I haven't had much time to breathe. This whole living by myself, paying my bills like a responsible adult thing is kinda hard! Although, I'm still behind on some things, I only have 1 car payment left!!! Now, if I can only keep it running and in good shape until it's paid off...............

Eric got a job after 5 months of being unemployed, it's a doosy! He job a great job with a really cool company that uses iPod touches to run silent auctions at charity events, kind of like ebay, only way more expensive! This whole week he's in Indianapolis for training, and I'm not a happy camper. But, he's gonna get paid really, really well, and when he has events, I can work them and make some extra money on the side! Plus, I get to travel around the state some. We're going to Fort Lauderdale in a couple weeks, and I've never been, so I'm super excited!!

Operation Las Vegas has turned into Operation Disney 2.0, sadly. It's not for certain yet, but Vegas is gonna be very expensive, more so than I thought originally, so I doubt it's gonna happen. Lucky for me, the Disney Marathon is only 4 weeks after, so I can still keep my current training plan in motion and make it work for disney. It may actually work out better because I've been having an overuse pain in my left knee that is taking its sweet time going away. Better to slow down on my own than to be forced to stop by an injury. I have several races coming up in the next few weeks, so I'm gonna stay busy trying to get my 1/2 mary times down.

I've taken back up my old hobby of knitting to try to quell my late night hungry attacks. I find that having something to concentrate on makes me forget about being "hungry". It's so tough to break those very ingrained habits like that. Eating late at night has been my thing forever, and it doesn't help that I"m a night owl anyway.

I'm hoping life slows down a little bit and business speeds up! I'm picking up students slowly, but surely, and it's taking some of the financial pressure off. I'm just glad I don't have kids. Alhtough, my biological clock practically wakes me up every morning reminding me that I'm turning 30 in less than 3 months. UGH. I'll survive the chaos; I always do. I just don't always survive it sane.

Good days and bad days

When I started this training plan set forth by my brother, it looked hard. I mean, really hard. It's more miles than I've ever run, with more intense workouts than I've ever done. But I thought, why not? I'm in the best shape of my life and I feel great. Then came August in the great state of Florida. The temps have been near 100* everyday with humidity just as high. And to a runner who isn't so keen on getting up at 5am, it sucks the soul right out of me.

So yesterday was my weekly long run, and naturally Saturday night I didn't get in bed early like I was supposed to, I stayed at Eric's house kinda late and then came home. But I was energized, so I put away my laundry and picked up some around my house. And before I knew it, it was after midnight. This didn't bode so well for a 5am long run, which ultimately turned into a 10am long run. The problem? Staying in bed meant I had to do my Long run on the treadmill at the gym. BLEH!

Obediently, I headed to the gym on my bike, gel bloks and water bottle in hand. Lucky for me, there was good tv on, so I didn't get too bored, and the miles started to click by. The treadmill is so deceiving, and that's why I hate it. Not to mention the fact that it effs up my stride so that by the time I was done my calves and hamstrings were so tight I could barely walk. It gives me a false sense of speed. Granted, I did my 12 miles at 11:15/mile pace, which is rockin, but on the road, that's not my pace. I'd love it to be my pace, but it's not. Actual human propulsion is what makes the legs go on the road, not the belt under me. Anyway, it was a great run, except that my heart rate monitor chest strap died. Then I went to work and then bowling. Needless to say, yesterday was a long day.

Today's run, not so great. I got up thinking I'll go out for 4-5 miles for some recovery. Little did I know that between the weather being miserably hot/humid, my iPhone/iPod screwing up, and my legs being tired that whatever miles I did get today would be hard won. So, today I will chalk up to a bad run. 4 miles is 4 miles, nonetheless, but they sucked. And I think the battery in my Garmin HRM strap is dying. WTF. At least I got my miles today. I had runs like this(well maybe not this bad) last week, and I'll have them next week. Until the weather cools down some, my miles are gonna be tough to get every week, and I guess I can't expect every single run to be great, but I can hope right?

A really great run.

As I begin week 4 of Operation:Las Vegas, I can feel myself getting stronger already. The elite runners and coaches of the world say that the more miles you run, the more miles you can run. I'm beginning to realize just how true this is.

I thought I was surely going to die by the end of week 1. By the end of week 2, I was adjusting, but still exhausted. Last week was the first week where I actually clocked all the miles I was supposed to, and felt good about it. Granted, the 2:00:00 long run last weekend nearly killed me, but making the body do something new is usually never fun(ok, sometimes it's fun, but where exercise is concerned, not so much).

This weekend I spent at the beach, having fun with the new guy and his kids. We celebrated the oldest daughter's birthday by having a cupcake party, where I spent all afternoon Saturyda baking cupcakes, and then we all decorated them Saturday evening. We stuck candles in 14 of them and sang and the whole nine yards. Fun! The eating of the cupcakes? A bad plan. I didn't get to 300# by saying no to cupcakes. However, life goes on, and today, there are no cupcakes to be seen. Sadly, while at the beach, I coulcn't manage to get my long run because the humidity was monstrous.

So, today I got up and did my long run. And it's amazing to me how easy it was! I did 10 miles last Sunday, and suffered all the way through. Of course, that was the first 10 miler I'd done since May when I did my last 1/2 mary. Yesterday's long run was only to be 7 miles, so I went out this morning thinking I'd do 8, and get one of this week's miles outta the way. The sky was completely overcast, there was a breeze blowing, and my legs felt great. The more I run, the more my legs feel better running faster. My goal today was to have 35-40 minutes of marathon pace running, meaning that my normal 11:45-12:00 pace for long runs needed to average 11:30/mile for 35-40 minutes to get my legs used to running faster for longer periods of time, since the marathon will most likely take me 5 hours +. Wonder of wonders, my legs kicked it into high gear, and just went. I'm learning to lean back so that my legs and hips are rotating properly, instead of leaning forward. And when my headphones died at mile 6, I was relieved that I could just concentrate on listening to my foot falls and breathing. As I listen to each foot fall, I can stop any dragging that happens when I lean too far forward, and really feel my feet.

Week 4 is shaping up to be a great week. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to double up and run twice one day this week to get all my miles, but my brother/coach does that all the time, so it must be ok. I'm so in tune with my body that I can't imagine how I didn't do this earlier in my life. It feels so good to know what's going on, and to be able to get through everyday without caffeine and sugar and just exist on human energy.

I'm looking forward to having a good week, if today's run is any indication. The more miles I run, the more I want to run. Where can I go wrong?

The people around you.

I'm learning slowly but surely that the people I surround myself have a serious effect on my mood. For example, a short conversation with the ex stresses me out to no end, and makes me thankful that he's going to be my ex by law soon. A short conversation with a friend of mine who is still pretty obese and generally negative can bother me for days, and kinda make me feel like shit in the midst of the conversation. And a non conversation with my new fella( as in just being around him), makes me feel some peace, if even just for a few minutes. A conversation with the wellness director at my gym can make me feel like I've already conquered the world and now have the universe to take care of, but that's it's possible to do.

I wonder then, why is it so hard to let go of the people who adversely affect my mood, and therefore, my mental well being? Why do I insist on keeping these people around? I suppose in some ways, I'm afraid to let go of my ex, who has been a major part of my life for the last 11 years, since I was 18. And we've gone through some major shit together, but ultimately can't be together. And the fact that I haven't felt this good is years, both mentally and physically means that somewhere along the line, I've made the right decision to leave him.

My mom told me a long time ago that I would probably lose every friend I have because the changes in me wouldn't be comfortable for the fatties in my life. At the time, I though she must be crazy, but as time always tells, moms are usually right. And so only one fatty remains my friend, but she's the most miserable person I know. And when I told her last week about dropping below 200#, she said, "Congratulations.....bitch. :)". And so even though she said it in jest, I know deep down that really she meant it. And it's just impossible for her to be happy for me. I'm not really afraid of losing her as my friend, but mostly I feel sorry for her, and so I stick around hoping she'll get it together one of these days. I don't know how much longer I'll stick around for that, though. She's 42 and the odds aren't looking good.

The new fella just makes me feel good. I haven't laughed like I do with him in a long, long, long time. And I haven't felt a sense of calm like this maybe ever. Of course, that calm goes away when we go about our seperate lives, but while he's around, he leans on me, and I lean on him. And the fact that he's a little older means he knows how to handle me and my craziness. Because as much as I've calmed down over the last 20 months, as much as I've become a better person, I'm still a handful of neuroses and type A personality traits!

Bottom line, I never realized how much my life would change when I started all this, but sometimes, I can't really believe this is my life. And I never would have thought that I'd be as sensitive as I am to other people's effects on me as I am. It really makes me stop and think about who I interact with. And truthfully, I have a choice everyday about who I deal with, so I suppose just making better food choices, I should start making better people choices.

My mom told me a long time ago when I started losing weight that I'd probably lose every friend I have because the change in me will not be comfortable for the fatties in my life.